What rolls down stairs alone or in pairs
Rolls over your neighbor's dog?
What's great for a snack and fits on your back?
It's Log, Log, Log!
It's Log, Log, it's big, it's heavy, it's wood.
It's Log, Log, it's better than bad, it's good!
Everyone wants a log! You're gonna love it, Log!
Come on and get your log! Everyone needs a Log!
Yes, yes, yes, Ms. NerdGirl. I have had the song in my head THAT long. Thanks. Really. I mean it. ^_^
AHEM. Neko-Chan totally seconds that, cuz not only has the song been stuck in her head, but also in her mouth...and therefore in my ears. Thanks a lot. I've never even heard of this Ren and Stimpy person, but I totally, completely want to strangle him/her/it. Whatever.
So, like, while she's off singing in some parallel universe somewhere where my ears don't exist, let me tell you all about my Christmas. My only wish was for that darn Jonny to go back to wherever the hell he came from, but that Chesire-cat-faced cat is still here, of course. Nevermind that I accidentally licked his head earlier (and I bopped him good for tricking me, let me tell you), he just sucks. There is no way I'll ever like him and I already know what my Christmas wish for next year will be. Any guesses? Well I have a whole year to figure out how to make it happen, and you know what? Neko-chan's a good thinker. Yes she is. It will be done. Muwahahahahahaha!!!
Ahem...I'm sorry. I'll compose myself. I got lotsa meeces and stuff and hit the catnip sauce pretty hard (passed out on the wrapping paper and everything). Yeah, good stuff. Even if I did hafta share with Jonny Buttface.
And then I got to listen to that woman oo and ah over some cross she got, like she doesn't already have more than the Vatican. Oh brother. And he had to feign surprise at some blu-ray player, like he hasn't been watching stuff on it for weeks already. Humans. Whatever. Hey lady! Mr. T called and he wants his jewelry back. Yeah, I said it. Deal with it. I totally hafta deal with Jonny Fang-face, grinning like he's the dang Joker or something. I tell you what...Hey!
Well, I think it's safe to say that Neko is a bit moody today. Then again, when is Neko not moody lately? I'm starting to wonder just how good my little girl actually is.
NEKO-CHAN IS A GOOD GIRL!!!
Neko was actually quite sweet all day (probably because Jonny left her alone most of the day).
(That's cuz I bopped him good. A right hook right to the mouth. Kapow!! Just like in Batman and everything.)
Ever since she watched The Dark Knight last night, she's been obsessing about Batman. I think she dreams about running Jonny over in the Batmobile-cycle thing with the wind blowing in her Neko hair. Well, it wouldn't surprise me at least. I don't know that I really want to know what she dreams about. And how does she know who Mr. T is anyway? I think I need to have a talk with her. All this TV violence is doing something to her.
To me? Whatever. Hey, wanna see a magic trick? I'll bet you a Jonny that I can make this pencil disappear. Com'mere for a sec...
Um, Neko, I watched the movie, too. I know how the trick is done. No! Get away from me! I don't want to see the pencil disappear! Give me that!
Note to self - hide all pencils from Neko. She's clearly gone over to the darkside. It's time to throw on some Happy Happy Joy Joy and brainwash her into having g-rated Hello Kitty dreams.
Happy Happy Joy Joy Happy Happy Joy Joy
Happy Happy Joy Joy Happy Happy Joy Joy
Happy Happy Joy Joy Happy Happy Joy Joy
Happy Happy Joy Joy Joy!
Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Joy Joy Joy!
(This installment of Neko-Chan theater was brought to you by the letter H and the number 23. No Jonnys or Katzies were harmed during the making of this episode (except when I bopped him good earlier). Hope everyone had a lovely holiday and that Santa Claws was extra nice to you. ~*^_^*~)
Sunday, December 28, 2008
Friday, December 19, 2008
Thursday, December 4, 2008
Heeeeeere's Jonny!
I figured since I don't have Jonny in the collage below, I should post his picture. So...here he is, stupid grin and all. ^_-
Sunday, November 23, 2008
Neko-chan rants!
Uh oh...I forgot that Neko has been on the war path lately. I think she's about to --
AHEM. It is I, Neko-chan, and I have something to say! I absolutely, positively will not tolerate any more cats coming into this house! I will not, I will not! (aren't her stubby legs just so cute stamping about?)
AHEM! I am speaking! Just what is up with that new guy anyway? Those are my mice. Mine. Not his. And he'd better not even think about the one in the kitchen. I am the mouser. Me. Not him. That's my job and I'm gosh darn good at it. Neko-chan's a good girl. I know it cuz I'm told so a whole bunch of times everyday. Who's a good girl? ME! That's who!
Oh but it's so not fair! They coo and coo over Jonny and tell him he's a good boy, but he's not. He's not! He's always jumping on me with a stupid grin on his face. I could just swipe it right off with one sharpened claw...well, I could if I had claws. Damn. Well this just smacks my fanny in a really irksome way. Grrrreat...
Hmm, looks like she's gone off to sulk a bit. That concludes this installment of the world as it pertains to Neko.
AHEM. It is I, Neko-chan, and I have something to say! I absolutely, positively will not tolerate any more cats coming into this house! I will not, I will not! (aren't her stubby legs just so cute stamping about?)
AHEM! I am speaking! Just what is up with that new guy anyway? Those are my mice. Mine. Not his. And he'd better not even think about the one in the kitchen. I am the mouser. Me. Not him. That's my job and I'm gosh darn good at it. Neko-chan's a good girl. I know it cuz I'm told so a whole bunch of times everyday. Who's a good girl? ME! That's who!
Oh but it's so not fair! They coo and coo over Jonny and tell him he's a good boy, but he's not. He's not! He's always jumping on me with a stupid grin on his face. I could just swipe it right off with one sharpened claw...well, I could if I had claws. Damn. Well this just smacks my fanny in a really irksome way. Grrrreat...
Hmm, looks like she's gone off to sulk a bit. That concludes this installment of the world as it pertains to Neko.
MS Update
Ahh! So this is what it's like to reacquaint oneself with adequately working mental faculties again. Deep breath in...and out...much better!
After a fairly exhaustive few weeks, I finally made the plunge into cane-hood and kind of wish I had done it sooner. It takes much less energy to walk when I have something to help support myself, whether it's because my leg is feeling weak or because I feel off-balance, and I've found that I am able to get around quicker and more easily now.
Since it's been rough going MS-wise lately, I went through another round of steroids last week. All five days were done on an IV so that I wouldn't have to follow up with anything orally. This round was different than the first in some big ways, although that probably has a lot do with how I was feeling at the beginning. I was exhausted this time and had no trouble sleeping. In fact, I spent most of the week more tired than I was before I started the treatment. I did still take some hefty sleeping pills for the bulk of the treatment, though, just in case. I also felt really, pretty down all week, but I've rebounded since then. Finally, my back and neck feel horribly bruised, which, while I can't say specifically is related, my nurse said that anything "weird" can be blamed on the steroids, so there, that's what I'm blaming it on. ^_^
Perhaps the best part of the week was the Vampire Hunter D novel that I read during my treatments. I can gush and gush about D as anyone who knows me knows, but this book was by far the best that's been translated yet and it is going to be a long few months until the next one is released in March. It's a four part novel being released in two parts so I finished this book right in the middle of the story! Man...I have to wait how long? Agh! I have to know what's going to happen. I can't possibly wait...I just can't....
Okay, enough about D and back to me...My evening meds are kicking in so my living room is starting to spin around me. Guess I should make this quick. ^_-
My legs are still bothering me - both with weakness and pain this weekend. The pain started a few weeks ago and tends to settle into my hips and knees with some burning and cramping in the muscles. I expect it'll take some time for the steroids to help, but I am hopeful. My doctor wasn't 100% that the treatment would help with my cognitive issues (more with the legs), but I've noticed a lot of improvement. I'm not nearly as spacey, my memory has been better, and I haven't been struggling for words or to form a coherent thought without losing it along the way. I haven't been tiring as easily as before and I don't really feel as exhausted as I did. I've been able to sit still without feeling restless and actually took a nap yesterday! Not only that, but I stayed in bed after my nap, finished my VHD book, and then fell asleep at 8pm and slept until morning! I haven't slept a whole night through that well in months. And on a Saturday night no less...I actually DVR'd my cartoons instead of staying up to watch them. I'm still having vertigo issues, but dramine usually works, so if it persists I'll just go back to that. The tremor in my right hand has been worse, but my nurse said the steroids could be aggravating that, so hopefully it'll subside a bit this week. Oh, and we had already increased my gabapentin a few weeks back to help with an increase in headaches, so I should also note that my headaches are better and that additional relief should come with the steroids, too.
On Tuesday, I'll meet with a physical therapist for official cane stuff. She'll evaluate my needs and go over the proper techniques for walking with one. I know I'm not using it correctly, but I do have issues in my left arm that have caused some problems with using it the proper way. Hopefully, she'll be able to address everything and get me on my merry way. At least for now I'm getting along okay.
Finally, some kitty news. Jonny's been in the house for 3 weeks now and he's settling into indoor life. He's found a snuggle buddy in my husband and enjoys sleeping on his side of the bed. Lucien is horribly jealous of him when he gets near me (his eyes widen as he frantically rushes over with a little pink mouth crying for attention). Oof! Speak of the little devil, he just jumped on my stomach! Little Lu isn't so little anymore! Well, at any rate, Jonny still has a lot of adjusting to do, but he's coming along fine. We've discovered that cars on the tv scare him when they're driving toward the screen (or in his mind, him), so he runs away from them. Other than that, he's fascinated by the tv and watches it frequently. Other than the sad reminders of his old outdoor life (such as running from real cars), it's cute to watch him discover things about indoor life. He seems happy at least. It'd be nice if we could keep him from killing all the toys, though. There is a sad, sad trail of fur and stuffing down the hallway. It doesn't matter if it's the catnip sack, Neko's mice (most of which are naked now), or Lucien's pipe cleaners. Jonny loves to play. He will play with anything and he will rip it to shreds in the process. Poor Sake's scratching post has been around for years and after a few weeks with Jonny is on its way out. I suppose having a Christmas tree will interesting. Will all those ribbons, lights, and ornaments survive our energetic Jonny? I suppose we'll find out on Friday.
Happy thanksgiving!
After a fairly exhaustive few weeks, I finally made the plunge into cane-hood and kind of wish I had done it sooner. It takes much less energy to walk when I have something to help support myself, whether it's because my leg is feeling weak or because I feel off-balance, and I've found that I am able to get around quicker and more easily now.
Since it's been rough going MS-wise lately, I went through another round of steroids last week. All five days were done on an IV so that I wouldn't have to follow up with anything orally. This round was different than the first in some big ways, although that probably has a lot do with how I was feeling at the beginning. I was exhausted this time and had no trouble sleeping. In fact, I spent most of the week more tired than I was before I started the treatment. I did still take some hefty sleeping pills for the bulk of the treatment, though, just in case. I also felt really, pretty down all week, but I've rebounded since then. Finally, my back and neck feel horribly bruised, which, while I can't say specifically is related, my nurse said that anything "weird" can be blamed on the steroids, so there, that's what I'm blaming it on. ^_^
Perhaps the best part of the week was the Vampire Hunter D novel that I read during my treatments. I can gush and gush about D as anyone who knows me knows, but this book was by far the best that's been translated yet and it is going to be a long few months until the next one is released in March. It's a four part novel being released in two parts so I finished this book right in the middle of the story! Man...I have to wait how long? Agh! I have to know what's going to happen. I can't possibly wait...I just can't....
Okay, enough about D and back to me...My evening meds are kicking in so my living room is starting to spin around me. Guess I should make this quick. ^_-
My legs are still bothering me - both with weakness and pain this weekend. The pain started a few weeks ago and tends to settle into my hips and knees with some burning and cramping in the muscles. I expect it'll take some time for the steroids to help, but I am hopeful. My doctor wasn't 100% that the treatment would help with my cognitive issues (more with the legs), but I've noticed a lot of improvement. I'm not nearly as spacey, my memory has been better, and I haven't been struggling for words or to form a coherent thought without losing it along the way. I haven't been tiring as easily as before and I don't really feel as exhausted as I did. I've been able to sit still without feeling restless and actually took a nap yesterday! Not only that, but I stayed in bed after my nap, finished my VHD book, and then fell asleep at 8pm and slept until morning! I haven't slept a whole night through that well in months. And on a Saturday night no less...I actually DVR'd my cartoons instead of staying up to watch them. I'm still having vertigo issues, but dramine usually works, so if it persists I'll just go back to that. The tremor in my right hand has been worse, but my nurse said the steroids could be aggravating that, so hopefully it'll subside a bit this week. Oh, and we had already increased my gabapentin a few weeks back to help with an increase in headaches, so I should also note that my headaches are better and that additional relief should come with the steroids, too.
On Tuesday, I'll meet with a physical therapist for official cane stuff. She'll evaluate my needs and go over the proper techniques for walking with one. I know I'm not using it correctly, but I do have issues in my left arm that have caused some problems with using it the proper way. Hopefully, she'll be able to address everything and get me on my merry way. At least for now I'm getting along okay.
Finally, some kitty news. Jonny's been in the house for 3 weeks now and he's settling into indoor life. He's found a snuggle buddy in my husband and enjoys sleeping on his side of the bed. Lucien is horribly jealous of him when he gets near me (his eyes widen as he frantically rushes over with a little pink mouth crying for attention). Oof! Speak of the little devil, he just jumped on my stomach! Little Lu isn't so little anymore! Well, at any rate, Jonny still has a lot of adjusting to do, but he's coming along fine. We've discovered that cars on the tv scare him when they're driving toward the screen (or in his mind, him), so he runs away from them. Other than that, he's fascinated by the tv and watches it frequently. Other than the sad reminders of his old outdoor life (such as running from real cars), it's cute to watch him discover things about indoor life. He seems happy at least. It'd be nice if we could keep him from killing all the toys, though. There is a sad, sad trail of fur and stuffing down the hallway. It doesn't matter if it's the catnip sack, Neko's mice (most of which are naked now), or Lucien's pipe cleaners. Jonny loves to play. He will play with anything and he will rip it to shreds in the process. Poor Sake's scratching post has been around for years and after a few weeks with Jonny is on its way out. I suppose having a Christmas tree will interesting. Will all those ribbons, lights, and ornaments survive our energetic Jonny? I suppose we'll find out on Friday.
Happy thanksgiving!
Thursday, October 23, 2008
Jonny, Sweethearts, and Whatever Else
Eh...still not feeling very energetic. It's even hard to stay motivated to write, which, whether or not it ever goes anywhere, is how I truly enjoy spending my free time. Not only do I get to escape into a totally fictional realm, I also get to spend time with my kitties. Right now, I have Lucien on one arm and Sake Muyo on the other. Okay, the wafting cat breath coming my way right now is making me second guess this whole quality time with the cats thing...^_^ Oh but Lu is such a sweetheart and so cute looking up at me with his "I love you" eyes. Sake has her back to me, but I can hear her purr over the music in my headphones (Depeche Mode, in case you were curious).
As might be expected, we've decided to keep Jonny. (I dropped the "h" when I realized that Jonny short for Jonathan would not be spelled with an "h." Perhaps I have too much time to ponder such things or perhaps it is a sign that my brain is too frazzled since I missed it in the first place. ) I decided to name him Jonathan (my husband chose the nickname Jonny) because Lucien really seems to like him and in my novel, Jonathan is Lucien's soulmate. Jonny is at the vet right now getting a looksie loo and, once a few things clear up, will be getting neutered before he comes home.
We should get Smokey's ashes back on Monday and the pet marker I ordered should arrive in a few weeks. My daughter was very upset when I told her the news, so I promised that we'd do something special for him. I thought the marker would look nice under our cherry tree, which is also near the rose garden I put in for David. When I ordered the stone, I had to call our old vet to get Smokey's DOB and was shocked to learn that he was born on October 15, 2000. He died on October 14, 2008, just one day shy of his 8th birthday. Poor little guy. :-(
As might be expected, we've decided to keep Jonny. (I dropped the "h" when I realized that Jonny short for Jonathan would not be spelled with an "h." Perhaps I have too much time to ponder such things or perhaps it is a sign that my brain is too frazzled since I missed it in the first place. ) I decided to name him Jonathan (my husband chose the nickname Jonny) because Lucien really seems to like him and in my novel, Jonathan is Lucien's soulmate. Jonny is at the vet right now getting a looksie loo and, once a few things clear up, will be getting neutered before he comes home.
We should get Smokey's ashes back on Monday and the pet marker I ordered should arrive in a few weeks. My daughter was very upset when I told her the news, so I promised that we'd do something special for him. I thought the marker would look nice under our cherry tree, which is also near the rose garden I put in for David. When I ordered the stone, I had to call our old vet to get Smokey's DOB and was shocked to learn that he was born on October 15, 2000. He died on October 14, 2008, just one day shy of his 8th birthday. Poor little guy. :-(
Thursday, October 16, 2008
RIP Smokey Jones :-(
Two days ago, my husband and I made the difficult decision to have one of our cats, Smokey Jones, put to sleep. He had gone through a difficult surgery a few weeks ago and endured some complications with that. He should have been at the vet's office for one or two nights, but instead was there for two weeks. When he finally home, he was there for one night before we had to take him back in for another night and another round of steroids to help with inflammation. After ten days of meds to help prevent/fight infection, we let him roam the house freely and it quickly became apparent that he was still having problems, even worse than before the surgery. There may have been something else we could have done for him, but we did what we could and had to let it end somewhere. He clearly wasn't feeling or doing well. So, this post is dedicated to my little fat guy, my Smokey Jones. His name always confused our vet's office (since he doesn't have our last name ;-)), he knocked things around and got grumpy when he was hungry (so basically all the time), he was Sake Muyo's snuggle partner, and always fought with David for the best spot on the bed (which hadn't been a problem for him since we lost Davey in December). Well, now Smokey and Davey are reunited and can resume their rivalvry however they choose. I love you Smokey. Good night little guy.
(His picture is the one in the lower left in the photo mosaic at the bottom of the blog page.)
As they say, when one door closes, another opens. Or is it a window? I don't know. I don't care. For months, we've had a black stray cat coming to our house, and, at the instruction of Animal Control, I've been feeding him for the last 3 weeks. The intent was to catch him and either have Animal Control come and get him, or to take him to the Humane Society. That was until I found out that we no longer have a no-kill shelter and that if he's too skittish to adopt out (he would be) they'd probably euthanize him. Well, given that we've been calling him Johnny and feeding him for 3 weeks, I've grown attached to him and can't see doing that to him. I know I can't take in another cat. It's tiring sometimes just to care for the ones I already have, and after spending the last year on our troubles with Smokey Jones, all I really want to do is get down to 2 or 3 cats and leave it at that. BUT, I really like Johnny and am trying to find him a good home, BUT if that doesn't happen, I don't really see any other option than to take him in. That has to be a last resort, although I've been trying to think logically without letting my heart get in the way. I think, logically, that it will be tough to take him in. I mean, if I had known in January what I would've heard my doctor say in June, we never would have gotten Lucien. It will be tough to train Johnny, to make sure he's disease, mite, flea, and worm free, and that mostly, that puts me back at 5 cats (which is still less than 6), which may be difficult to stay on top of, especially if Twitch's problems come back. Then my heart decides to speak up. Any hardship would be worth it because Johnny makes me happy. He is a sweetheart. He disappeared for three days and I missed him. When he returned, he was so hungry that he choked on the food I gave him, but he was still more interested in me petting him and trying to go inside my house than eating. :-( Poor Johnny.
And lastly, I had a doctor's appt for the MS earlier this week. Things seemed okay. I had a headache and have been fairly worn out this week, so I missed a few things, but she spent extra time looking at the reflexes in my arms. I don't know what that means since I forgot to ask. I also noticed that my balance was off again. I'm still doing better than I was, though. She also said that it's too early to tell if the nerve damage in my right hand (the tremor) is permanent or not. It will take about 7-9 months for the Copaxone to start working and she seemed optimistic that once it does build up enough to make a difference, I should start to feel even better, if not back to normal. I see her again in 3 months and I know now that I will have another MRI next summer.
Okay. I'm tired. I'll do another post when I have more energy. It's been a rough week. Bye.
(His picture is the one in the lower left in the photo mosaic at the bottom of the blog page.)
As they say, when one door closes, another opens. Or is it a window? I don't know. I don't care. For months, we've had a black stray cat coming to our house, and, at the instruction of Animal Control, I've been feeding him for the last 3 weeks. The intent was to catch him and either have Animal Control come and get him, or to take him to the Humane Society. That was until I found out that we no longer have a no-kill shelter and that if he's too skittish to adopt out (he would be) they'd probably euthanize him. Well, given that we've been calling him Johnny and feeding him for 3 weeks, I've grown attached to him and can't see doing that to him. I know I can't take in another cat. It's tiring sometimes just to care for the ones I already have, and after spending the last year on our troubles with Smokey Jones, all I really want to do is get down to 2 or 3 cats and leave it at that. BUT, I really like Johnny and am trying to find him a good home, BUT if that doesn't happen, I don't really see any other option than to take him in. That has to be a last resort, although I've been trying to think logically without letting my heart get in the way. I think, logically, that it will be tough to take him in. I mean, if I had known in January what I would've heard my doctor say in June, we never would have gotten Lucien. It will be tough to train Johnny, to make sure he's disease, mite, flea, and worm free, and that mostly, that puts me back at 5 cats (which is still less than 6), which may be difficult to stay on top of, especially if Twitch's problems come back. Then my heart decides to speak up. Any hardship would be worth it because Johnny makes me happy. He is a sweetheart. He disappeared for three days and I missed him. When he returned, he was so hungry that he choked on the food I gave him, but he was still more interested in me petting him and trying to go inside my house than eating. :-( Poor Johnny.
And lastly, I had a doctor's appt for the MS earlier this week. Things seemed okay. I had a headache and have been fairly worn out this week, so I missed a few things, but she spent extra time looking at the reflexes in my arms. I don't know what that means since I forgot to ask. I also noticed that my balance was off again. I'm still doing better than I was, though. She also said that it's too early to tell if the nerve damage in my right hand (the tremor) is permanent or not. It will take about 7-9 months for the Copaxone to start working and she seemed optimistic that once it does build up enough to make a difference, I should start to feel even better, if not back to normal. I see her again in 3 months and I know now that I will have another MRI next summer.
Okay. I'm tired. I'll do another post when I have more energy. It's been a rough week. Bye.
Friday, September 26, 2008
Hmm...this is the post that shall remain titleless
Mr. Glass P.C., a.k.a. The Forlorn Purple Cat, here. I had a thought today. Well, okay, I had more than just one, but only one pertinent to this...conversation? I suppose it usually takes more than one person to have a conversation, but I do talk to myself a lot, so maybe this does count. In fact, earlier I corrected myself verbally, without realizing it, while on the phone with a perfect stranger.
Anyway...my thought was...if I am Mr. Glass, does that make my husband Mrs. Glass? I can't say that he'd be too thrilled with that. I'm sure he'd rather see himself as Bruce Willis, whose character's name doesn't come to mind, so I'll call him Mr. Anti-Glass. Or maybe Mrs. Anti-Glass? I'm confused.
At any rate, Mr. or Mrs. Anti-Glass married to Mr. Glass? Doesn't really sound like a match made in Heaven, even if opposites really do attract. Don't get me wrong, though, we really are two totally different people. I'm some sort of freeform shape that probably resembles a circle, albeit a circle that is totally out of control of it's usual boundaries and looks more like a round squiggly line, and he is a square. That's not a bad thing, cuz he's not always a perfect square. Sometimes he stretches into a rectangle. And sometimes--and only sometimes--he's a square with a squiggle somewhere in the line. Not all squiggly, mind you, just a squiggle here or there. ^_-
I guess what I mean is, he's not the same as me, so he can't be Mrs. Glass, and he's far from my nemesis, so he can't really be Mr. or Mrs. Anti-Glass. Maybe I should just call him Bruce Willis. I could enjoy that. I'm married to Bruce Willis. There, sounds nice enough to me! ^_^
Anyway...my thought was...if I am Mr. Glass, does that make my husband Mrs. Glass? I can't say that he'd be too thrilled with that. I'm sure he'd rather see himself as Bruce Willis, whose character's name doesn't come to mind, so I'll call him Mr. Anti-Glass. Or maybe Mrs. Anti-Glass? I'm confused.
At any rate, Mr. or Mrs. Anti-Glass married to Mr. Glass? Doesn't really sound like a match made in Heaven, even if opposites really do attract. Don't get me wrong, though, we really are two totally different people. I'm some sort of freeform shape that probably resembles a circle, albeit a circle that is totally out of control of it's usual boundaries and looks more like a round squiggly line, and he is a square. That's not a bad thing, cuz he's not always a perfect square. Sometimes he stretches into a rectangle. And sometimes--and only sometimes--he's a square with a squiggle somewhere in the line. Not all squiggly, mind you, just a squiggle here or there. ^_-
I guess what I mean is, he's not the same as me, so he can't be Mrs. Glass, and he's far from my nemesis, so he can't really be Mr. or Mrs. Anti-Glass. Maybe I should just call him Bruce Willis. I could enjoy that. I'm married to Bruce Willis. There, sounds nice enough to me! ^_^
Wednesday, September 17, 2008
Status Update #5, for reals this time ^_-
I am now officially a Copaxone pincushion. The injections aren’t as bad as I expected and the needle is rather thin, so I don’t really feel it go in. The medicine, on the other hand, stings. I’ve shot myself in the arm and the leg so far, and when I used my leg, it ached for about 30 minutes and it hurt to walk on it during that time, as well. BUT - the pain and stinging isn’t unbearable and definitely isn’t comparable at all to the worst pain I’ve ever felt in my life. I’ve heard that in time it could get better, so I’ll hope for that.
The most common side effect is a reaction at the injection site. I didn’t have any problems on my arm, although I did develop a large hive on my leg that went away over the course of the evening. Each site was tender the next day, with my arm being more tender than my leg, and each site still has a slight bruise and small puncture mark. I have not experienced any other issues.
I hope that I respond well to Copaxone (as far as the treatment itself goes) since, out of the four possible medications, it has the least amount of side effects and I now know how I react to it. The other three meds have flu-like symptoms as side effects, among others, that can hit pretty hard (ie: violent chills that will not go away - yikes!). Obviously, since I haven’t tried the other meds, I can’t say how I’d react to them. I’ve read that Copaxone can take a while build up in the system and can take as much as 3 - 6 months to begin working.
In other good news, I heard back from the CDF (Chronic Disease Fund) and I qualify for financial assistance to help with the cost of Copaxone. Right now, I am covered on a trial basis pending official enrollment in the program (I must submit an application within 30-days). This has given my spirit a tremendous boost, especially since it seemed like several things were hitting us at once and now we have one less thing to worry about. Yay! (I’d jump for joy if half my butt wasn’t numb right now - LOL ^_^)
I’ve been having a good week, too. Until today, I haven’t had any problems with my legs and I even took the stairs instead of using the elevator while running errands yesterday. I don’t think I’ve been able to use the stairs in two months over there, which is a big deal since I’m claustrophobic and hate elevators. As far as today goes, once I’m up and moving I’ve been doing okay, it’s the transition from the chair to standing that’s been giving me problems. My knee wants to buckle until it decides that it’s okay with walking. (I guess my knees are just set in their ways today!)
And...I know I’m rambling, but I just have to say that I finally watched the premiere of Fringe and also caught the new episode last night. It’s got me hooked so far. I like the characters, the storylines are intriguing, and the premise is promising. My only gripe with last night’s ep is that the whole brain eating thing screamed SYLAR, SYLAR!, even though I couldn’t hear it. I knew another show had done something with brain eating, but couldn’t put my finger on it until this morning when the USA Today ran an article about Heroes. Duh! So, it was a little lame, but still neat nonetheless. I really hope this show has learned lessons from others (Lost, Heroes, The X-Files, etc) and doesn’t fall into the same pitfalls. We shall see.
Finally...new House last night!! Yay! I’m hopeless, I know, but I love the show. It still uses the exact same formula from week to week - someone’s dying, don’t know why, a little blood, a seizure, a long list of potential diagnosis, the usual “So-and-so is going to die in 24-hours if we can’t figure this out...”...and then at the last minute, bam!, House saves the day (well, unless the patient dies, which has happened, too, but that doesn’t mean that House didn’t figure out. Come on, the man’s a genius, of course he knows everything, right? Right?). ^_^ At any rate, I’m hooked for now and am still enjoying the distraction in all of its syndicated glory. Give it another month...I bet I’ll be over it by then.
I know I said “finally” but I lied. FINALLY - RIP Gus and Shawn, and Mr. Monk until January. :-(
The most common side effect is a reaction at the injection site. I didn’t have any problems on my arm, although I did develop a large hive on my leg that went away over the course of the evening. Each site was tender the next day, with my arm being more tender than my leg, and each site still has a slight bruise and small puncture mark. I have not experienced any other issues.
I hope that I respond well to Copaxone (as far as the treatment itself goes) since, out of the four possible medications, it has the least amount of side effects and I now know how I react to it. The other three meds have flu-like symptoms as side effects, among others, that can hit pretty hard (ie: violent chills that will not go away - yikes!). Obviously, since I haven’t tried the other meds, I can’t say how I’d react to them. I’ve read that Copaxone can take a while build up in the system and can take as much as 3 - 6 months to begin working.
In other good news, I heard back from the CDF (Chronic Disease Fund) and I qualify for financial assistance to help with the cost of Copaxone. Right now, I am covered on a trial basis pending official enrollment in the program (I must submit an application within 30-days). This has given my spirit a tremendous boost, especially since it seemed like several things were hitting us at once and now we have one less thing to worry about. Yay! (I’d jump for joy if half my butt wasn’t numb right now - LOL ^_^)
I’ve been having a good week, too. Until today, I haven’t had any problems with my legs and I even took the stairs instead of using the elevator while running errands yesterday. I don’t think I’ve been able to use the stairs in two months over there, which is a big deal since I’m claustrophobic and hate elevators. As far as today goes, once I’m up and moving I’ve been doing okay, it’s the transition from the chair to standing that’s been giving me problems. My knee wants to buckle until it decides that it’s okay with walking. (I guess my knees are just set in their ways today!)
And...I know I’m rambling, but I just have to say that I finally watched the premiere of Fringe and also caught the new episode last night. It’s got me hooked so far. I like the characters, the storylines are intriguing, and the premise is promising. My only gripe with last night’s ep is that the whole brain eating thing screamed SYLAR, SYLAR!, even though I couldn’t hear it. I knew another show had done something with brain eating, but couldn’t put my finger on it until this morning when the USA Today ran an article about Heroes. Duh! So, it was a little lame, but still neat nonetheless. I really hope this show has learned lessons from others (Lost, Heroes, The X-Files, etc) and doesn’t fall into the same pitfalls. We shall see.
Finally...new House last night!! Yay! I’m hopeless, I know, but I love the show. It still uses the exact same formula from week to week - someone’s dying, don’t know why, a little blood, a seizure, a long list of potential diagnosis, the usual “So-and-so is going to die in 24-hours if we can’t figure this out...”...and then at the last minute, bam!, House saves the day (well, unless the patient dies, which has happened, too, but that doesn’t mean that House didn’t figure out. Come on, the man’s a genius, of course he knows everything, right? Right?). ^_^ At any rate, I’m hooked for now and am still enjoying the distraction in all of its syndicated glory. Give it another month...I bet I’ll be over it by then.
I know I said “finally” but I lied. FINALLY - RIP Gus and Shawn, and Mr. Monk until January. :-(
Friday, September 12, 2008
Status Update #5?
Just wanted to let everyone know that I am about one step away from starting the meds. I've been in contact with the plethora of people needed to get this started and the Rx is currently ready to be picked up. The only hold up now is that the injector was on back order. It has since come into stock and should be on its way to my house as we speak. As soon as it comes in and I pick up the Rx, I'll schedule a nurse to come to my house and show me how to do the injections. I'd say that within a week I'll be able to start.
As far as how I've been doing, every day is hit or miss; there is little to no consistency. I have noticed, however, a pattern from week to week. I experience the most symptoms on Fridays, so much so that I've left work early on a few occasions. On Saturdays, I usually feel ok, but have intermittent strong symptoms, and on Sundays, I'm wiped out and can do very little. I'm usually very tired and sleep most of the day, or I'm just too exhausted and weak to do much. Mondays - Thursdays are in the realm of hit or miss. There are good days and bad days, but I've noticed a worsening progression as the week goes on, and I'm usually pretty wiped out by the end of any work day.
I am now experiencing problems in both arms and both legs - usually not at the same time, although today is an exception. I take 2 gabapentin and 2 benedryl to help with sleep and if I'm not out by 9:30pm, I have a heck of time getting up in the morning. Even with those pills helping, I'm still a relatively light sleeper - Lucien continues to wake me up at least once per night. (There is a picture of this little angel (and the rest of my angels) under my blog posts. He has the big picture in the center.)
The good news is that I'll be attending a meeting with the local MS chapter tomorrow and I've been in contact with a woman who has had MS for a number of years now. She helped me put my symptoms into perspective and gave me an idea of what to expect. She shared some tips to help with the medication, too, and I was very greatful for our conversation. While I'm still struggling with the emotional toll, her words definately lifted the cloud that had been hanging over me.
On another note, my husband would say that I need help with a House obsession. ^_^ I really don't like watching tv and I'm reluctant to seek out new shows to watch (case in point, Fringe - despite my intense curiousity, I recorded the premiere and still haven't watched it), but I recently watched House for the first time and really liked it. And of course, since it seems to be USA's newest syndicated golden child, it's on all the time, so it's on our tv all the time, too. I'm sure I'll tire of it eventually - it follows the same format in every single episode - but for now its holding my interest and offers a good distraction from everything else.
So...that's that...Bye!
As far as how I've been doing, every day is hit or miss; there is little to no consistency. I have noticed, however, a pattern from week to week. I experience the most symptoms on Fridays, so much so that I've left work early on a few occasions. On Saturdays, I usually feel ok, but have intermittent strong symptoms, and on Sundays, I'm wiped out and can do very little. I'm usually very tired and sleep most of the day, or I'm just too exhausted and weak to do much. Mondays - Thursdays are in the realm of hit or miss. There are good days and bad days, but I've noticed a worsening progression as the week goes on, and I'm usually pretty wiped out by the end of any work day.
I am now experiencing problems in both arms and both legs - usually not at the same time, although today is an exception. I take 2 gabapentin and 2 benedryl to help with sleep and if I'm not out by 9:30pm, I have a heck of time getting up in the morning. Even with those pills helping, I'm still a relatively light sleeper - Lucien continues to wake me up at least once per night. (There is a picture of this little angel (and the rest of my angels) under my blog posts. He has the big picture in the center.)
The good news is that I'll be attending a meeting with the local MS chapter tomorrow and I've been in contact with a woman who has had MS for a number of years now. She helped me put my symptoms into perspective and gave me an idea of what to expect. She shared some tips to help with the medication, too, and I was very greatful for our conversation. While I'm still struggling with the emotional toll, her words definately lifted the cloud that had been hanging over me.
On another note, my husband would say that I need help with a House obsession. ^_^ I really don't like watching tv and I'm reluctant to seek out new shows to watch (case in point, Fringe - despite my intense curiousity, I recorded the premiere and still haven't watched it), but I recently watched House for the first time and really liked it. And of course, since it seems to be USA's newest syndicated golden child, it's on all the time, so it's on our tv all the time, too. I'm sure I'll tire of it eventually - it follows the same format in every single episode - but for now its holding my interest and offers a good distraction from everything else.
So...that's that...Bye!
Thursday, September 4, 2008
Random Things
I love twilight this time of year. The sun sets a bit earlier and the crispness of fall hangs right around the corner. It's nice to sit out back and enjoy the evenings listening to the birds and crickets, or watching butterflies and grasshoppers flit about. And this past thursday, I found a few extra bonuses that I've never noticed before.
Earlier this summer, my aunt introduced me to moon flowers and gave me a few small plantings from her garden. I didn't expect them to bloom this year, so it was a big suprise to find a bloom ready to go at any time. I kept checking and checking and finally got to see it open. The flower itself is much larger than I expected it to be and has a delightful fragrance, both delicate and citrusy, much like a fainter version of my Pope John Paul II rose. It's a very pleasant and graceful flower and I can't wait for it to multiply and grow taller so that I can see it from my windows. Click on the thumbnails to see the larger pictures.
Friends and family know that I have a bit of a weird streak in me. Okay, so maybe "a bit" is an understatement...especially given my next wonderous discovery. How I never noticed this before is beyond me. I love spending time outside, especially in the evening and at night, and I pretty much always have, whether it was during my childhood when I'd be out late playing flashlight tag or when I was older and just enjoyed sitting on the grass under the moon. I have always liked bugs and I love cicadas - not only listening to them, but also watching them fly or listening to them croak in protest when I pick them up. Soooo...for the last few nights I've been watching the robins throw brown chunks around our yard while they peck at them, but I couldn't figure out what the "chunks" actually were. That is, until after I finished marveling at my new moon flower and my husband noticed that all over our yard, cicadas ready to escape their larval shells were crawling in the grass. I of course couldn't resist the chance to play with them...and of course just had to share...
The final thing I discovered that night is that my cat, the youngest one, Lucien, likes to play with bubbles.
On another note, my husband found a baby bunny while he was mowing the yard a few weeks ago and it's such a cute little thing that I figured I'd share since I'm already posting other pictures.
Have a good rest of the night!
Earlier this summer, my aunt introduced me to moon flowers and gave me a few small plantings from her garden. I didn't expect them to bloom this year, so it was a big suprise to find a bloom ready to go at any time. I kept checking and checking and finally got to see it open. The flower itself is much larger than I expected it to be and has a delightful fragrance, both delicate and citrusy, much like a fainter version of my Pope John Paul II rose. It's a very pleasant and graceful flower and I can't wait for it to multiply and grow taller so that I can see it from my windows. Click on the thumbnails to see the larger pictures.
Friends and family know that I have a bit of a weird streak in me. Okay, so maybe "a bit" is an understatement...especially given my next wonderous discovery. How I never noticed this before is beyond me. I love spending time outside, especially in the evening and at night, and I pretty much always have, whether it was during my childhood when I'd be out late playing flashlight tag or when I was older and just enjoyed sitting on the grass under the moon. I have always liked bugs and I love cicadas - not only listening to them, but also watching them fly or listening to them croak in protest when I pick them up. Soooo...for the last few nights I've been watching the robins throw brown chunks around our yard while they peck at them, but I couldn't figure out what the "chunks" actually were. That is, until after I finished marveling at my new moon flower and my husband noticed that all over our yard, cicadas ready to escape their larval shells were crawling in the grass. I of course couldn't resist the chance to play with them...and of course just had to share...
The final thing I discovered that night is that my cat, the youngest one, Lucien, likes to play with bubbles.
On another note, my husband found a baby bunny while he was mowing the yard a few weeks ago and it's such a cute little thing that I figured I'd share since I'm already posting other pictures.
Have a good rest of the night!
Tuesday, August 12, 2008
Status Update #3...it's official
I had another MRI and saw the doc again today.
Short version: She officially diagnosed me with MS. We'll discuss medication at another appointment in October. Until then, I'll continue the Gabapentin to help with the tremor/weakness and sleep issues, and if anything severe crops up, we'll do another round of steroids.
Long version: The MRI went okay. I had a bad go of it with the IV this time. They blew out a vein in my right arm and gave me a decent sized knot that I know from experience will produce a horrible bruise (it's already a bit green). They also blew a vein in my left arm, and although it hurt more, there isn't a knot there. The third time was the charm and they successfully put the IV into my left hand. It hurt more to do it there, not only at insert, but also the whole time it was in and when they removed it. Oh well. At least it worked out. I generally have really good veins, so I was surprised at the trouble. So...anyway, I was pretty doped up on Valium, so I giggled it off while the next tech made Dracula and vampire jokes (oddly appropriate for me!) and then slept through the MRI.
And the results of said MRI? The 19mm lesion has decreased (Yay!) and the doc said she is fairly certain they can positively rule out a tumor. I didn't realize that possibility was still on the table, but I suppose I feel better knowing that. There are still 3-4 small lesions (like the size of a pen tip or so) and at least one of those is an old lesion. It appears that I have 3 of those on my right side. The last MRI showed I had 1 small one on the left, but she didn't point that one out today, so I don't know if it is still there. Basically this all means that she didn't see anything new and the steroids worked.
As far as the official diagnosis goes, I experienced a brand new symptom after treatment - a tremor in my left leg. Because of that, she was able to move forward with an official diagnosis instead of being forced to look at this as an isolated incident. I have multiple sclorosis. It is no longer a possibility, but a fact.
The good thing about receiving the official diagnosis is that all four medications are now available instead of just one. The reason that's a good thing is because 3 of the 4 have rather undesirable side effects that, at least in my case, I would probably need medication to counteract. The fourth medication, Copaxone, has the least amount of side effects and was the one I was hoping I'd be able to take. So, needless to say, that was my choice. It will be a daily shot given subcutaneously (sp?) which is just under the skin and won't need to go into the muscle. At my October appointment we will begin the paperwork involved with that and we'll schedule a time for a nurse to come to my house to show me and Tim how to administer the shots.
Because of the cost involved, I asked if we could wait until December to start treatment (that starts a new treatment fiscal year and will help reduce my out of pocket expenses). I don't know the exact cost yet, but rough estimates put this medication at $500 a month for my portion and about $2000 for the insurance company. The monthly could be less or it could be more - however, there is an out of pocket maximum capped at $1500 for me. The doc wasn't too thrilled with holding off, but she understands. I have a great doctor who is as sympathetic and understanding as she is skilled and good at her job (which is VERY), so I feel very fortunate.
Obviously, the sooner we start treatment the better. In the meantime, if I experience any symptoms that impair my daily life, we'll do another round of steroids to hold me over until December. And, I'll also play around with the Gabapentin to help with my sleeping issues, which at this point are my most problematic issue. The Gabapentin has greatly reduced the tremor in my right hand/arm and the weakness in my right leg. With the exception of one day, I've actually felt pretty good - as long as I don't push myself too far. I'm still learning my limits and since they can very from day to day, that makes things a bit frustrating. I'm never completely symptom free, but on some - most days, they are hardly noticeable.
I'm hoping that if I can get some good, quality sleep, things will really start to improve. It's hard to focus on stuff when I'm tired and stressed out all the time, and it's quite frustrating to toss and turn night after night when all I want to do is SLEEP. Usually, I'm so tired by the end of the week that I spend most of Sunday in bed. For some reason I am able to nap fairly well during the day and have, for the past several weekends, crashed for several hours at a time on Sunday afternoons.
As far as spirits go...things are still up and down. It's a scary prognosis to take, especially when I don't know what the future holds. I'm scared to death of daily shots, but others have assured me that it sounds worse than it is. I'm sure in time that I'll get used to it. I guess you never know what's in store for you...only God does, I suppose. I try not to focus too much on the depressing aspects of the "could bes" but sometimes that's hard. It's easy to say things like "maybe it won't be bad" or "they could come up with a cure" and stuff like that. But the things that usually pop into my head are the scarier what ifs, like winding up in a wheel chair or enduring debilitating pain or whatnot, or the fact that while this isn't a lethal disease, people with MS generally don't live as long as normal, healthier people. And really, losing the use of my legs doesn't bother me. I would much rather be in a wheel chair than lose my sight or my hearing. The artist in me would miss the beauty and color of life and my muse is music or listening the birds sing outside my window. With that said...I try really hard not to think about the fact that some people with MS go blind. That is just not something I will allow myself to worry about right now. Besides, even then, I'm sure Nerdgirl would let me touch all kinds of soft yarn to entertain me...yet another of life's little pleasures ;-).
Well, enough of that. I just try to focus on the here and now, talk to God, and enjoy the world around me. I've always really loved the Footprint poem or Psalm, and often ask Him to carry me when I can't carry myself. It's always made me feel better to know that besides all the people I have in my physical life, I have Him - not only with me, but right alongside me. I'm never alone, even when I'm by myself. And that isn't something that I'll ever forget.
Well, I didn't proof this one as well as I usually do, so please forgive any typos and whatnot. Thanks for checking up on me and for your prayers and support. God bless everyone. ^_^
P.S. Viva La Vida by Coldplay is an awesome song and the Jill DeCoy Association is pretty cool. See? I heart music. That is all.
Short version: She officially diagnosed me with MS. We'll discuss medication at another appointment in October. Until then, I'll continue the Gabapentin to help with the tremor/weakness and sleep issues, and if anything severe crops up, we'll do another round of steroids.
Long version: The MRI went okay. I had a bad go of it with the IV this time. They blew out a vein in my right arm and gave me a decent sized knot that I know from experience will produce a horrible bruise (it's already a bit green). They also blew a vein in my left arm, and although it hurt more, there isn't a knot there. The third time was the charm and they successfully put the IV into my left hand. It hurt more to do it there, not only at insert, but also the whole time it was in and when they removed it. Oh well. At least it worked out. I generally have really good veins, so I was surprised at the trouble. So...anyway, I was pretty doped up on Valium, so I giggled it off while the next tech made Dracula and vampire jokes (oddly appropriate for me!) and then slept through the MRI.
And the results of said MRI? The 19mm lesion has decreased (Yay!) and the doc said she is fairly certain they can positively rule out a tumor. I didn't realize that possibility was still on the table, but I suppose I feel better knowing that. There are still 3-4 small lesions (like the size of a pen tip or so) and at least one of those is an old lesion. It appears that I have 3 of those on my right side. The last MRI showed I had 1 small one on the left, but she didn't point that one out today, so I don't know if it is still there. Basically this all means that she didn't see anything new and the steroids worked.
As far as the official diagnosis goes, I experienced a brand new symptom after treatment - a tremor in my left leg. Because of that, she was able to move forward with an official diagnosis instead of being forced to look at this as an isolated incident. I have multiple sclorosis. It is no longer a possibility, but a fact.
The good thing about receiving the official diagnosis is that all four medications are now available instead of just one. The reason that's a good thing is because 3 of the 4 have rather undesirable side effects that, at least in my case, I would probably need medication to counteract. The fourth medication, Copaxone, has the least amount of side effects and was the one I was hoping I'd be able to take. So, needless to say, that was my choice. It will be a daily shot given subcutaneously (sp?) which is just under the skin and won't need to go into the muscle. At my October appointment we will begin the paperwork involved with that and we'll schedule a time for a nurse to come to my house to show me and Tim how to administer the shots.
Because of the cost involved, I asked if we could wait until December to start treatment (that starts a new treatment fiscal year and will help reduce my out of pocket expenses). I don't know the exact cost yet, but rough estimates put this medication at $500 a month for my portion and about $2000 for the insurance company. The monthly could be less or it could be more - however, there is an out of pocket maximum capped at $1500 for me. The doc wasn't too thrilled with holding off, but she understands. I have a great doctor who is as sympathetic and understanding as she is skilled and good at her job (which is VERY), so I feel very fortunate.
Obviously, the sooner we start treatment the better. In the meantime, if I experience any symptoms that impair my daily life, we'll do another round of steroids to hold me over until December. And, I'll also play around with the Gabapentin to help with my sleeping issues, which at this point are my most problematic issue. The Gabapentin has greatly reduced the tremor in my right hand/arm and the weakness in my right leg. With the exception of one day, I've actually felt pretty good - as long as I don't push myself too far. I'm still learning my limits and since they can very from day to day, that makes things a bit frustrating. I'm never completely symptom free, but on some - most days, they are hardly noticeable.
I'm hoping that if I can get some good, quality sleep, things will really start to improve. It's hard to focus on stuff when I'm tired and stressed out all the time, and it's quite frustrating to toss and turn night after night when all I want to do is SLEEP. Usually, I'm so tired by the end of the week that I spend most of Sunday in bed. For some reason I am able to nap fairly well during the day and have, for the past several weekends, crashed for several hours at a time on Sunday afternoons.
As far as spirits go...things are still up and down. It's a scary prognosis to take, especially when I don't know what the future holds. I'm scared to death of daily shots, but others have assured me that it sounds worse than it is. I'm sure in time that I'll get used to it. I guess you never know what's in store for you...only God does, I suppose. I try not to focus too much on the depressing aspects of the "could bes" but sometimes that's hard. It's easy to say things like "maybe it won't be bad" or "they could come up with a cure" and stuff like that. But the things that usually pop into my head are the scarier what ifs, like winding up in a wheel chair or enduring debilitating pain or whatnot, or the fact that while this isn't a lethal disease, people with MS generally don't live as long as normal, healthier people. And really, losing the use of my legs doesn't bother me. I would much rather be in a wheel chair than lose my sight or my hearing. The artist in me would miss the beauty and color of life and my muse is music or listening the birds sing outside my window. With that said...I try really hard not to think about the fact that some people with MS go blind. That is just not something I will allow myself to worry about right now. Besides, even then, I'm sure Nerdgirl would let me touch all kinds of soft yarn to entertain me...yet another of life's little pleasures ;-).
Well, enough of that. I just try to focus on the here and now, talk to God, and enjoy the world around me. I've always really loved the Footprint poem or Psalm, and often ask Him to carry me when I can't carry myself. It's always made me feel better to know that besides all the people I have in my physical life, I have Him - not only with me, but right alongside me. I'm never alone, even when I'm by myself. And that isn't something that I'll ever forget.
Well, I didn't proof this one as well as I usually do, so please forgive any typos and whatnot. Thanks for checking up on me and for your prayers and support. God bless everyone. ^_^
P.S. Viva La Vida by Coldplay is an awesome song and the Jill DeCoy Association is pretty cool. See? I heart music. That is all.
Monday, August 11, 2008
What color girl are you?
You Are A Blue Girl |
 Relationships and feelings are the most important things to you. You are empathetic and accepting - and good at avoiding conflict. If someone close to you is in pain, it makes you hurt as well. You try to heal the ones you love with your kind and open heart. |
Monday, July 28, 2008
Status Update #2
I saw the doctor today. The quick and simple is this: she can't officially diagnose me with MS yet and I have another MRI scheduled for mid-August. In the meantime, I'll start a medication to help with the tremor in my right arm and weakness in my right leg, and it should make me drowsy, which will help with my sleep issues.
As for the long version...my follow-up exam showed improvement in my balance and reflexes. The steroids improved my headaches, vertigo, dizziness, and fatigue, and I could continue to see a benefit from them for up to a year. My big issue right now is the stuff with my arm and leg, not feeling quite "right" or like myself (I have been making stupid mistakes lately, been forgetful, had trouble focusing/concentrating/gathering my thoughts, and even got into two super minor accidents - I tapped another car with the work vehicle and scratched Tim's truck on the mailbox O_O), and occasional other symptoms. The doctor said that I may not feel like myself for another month or so.
She believes that I have MS or will develop MS. I do have demyelination, but doctors are not permitted to diagnosis MS based on an isolated occurence. They must have more proof--basically something needs to get better with treatment or something new will need to appear. The next MRI may help with this. She expects to see the big spot of inflammation decreased in size and will be looking for additional leisions.
The result of the next MRI will also determine the course of treatment. As I already said, I am starting a medication to help with my right side. That was at my request and is not a treatment for MS. It will hopefully just alleviate my discomfort and pain. The MS medication will depend on what she sees in the MRI results, but all of the medications are given in shot form. If the MRI shows no change, she will have to treat this as an isolated incident until something new happens and there is only one medication approved for that. It is a daily shot. If there are changes, then that opens up options of other shots (although which one will also depend on my insurance coverage) - one is a weekly intermuscular and the others vary from daily to every other day. She gave me a handbook to read that describes each medication and pamphlet about MS. Once I start the shots, I'm pretty much on them for life.
She said that the big spot of inflammation cannot explain all of my symptoms and that there's got to be something else going on that they haven't seen. There may be leisons in my brain that didn't show up on the first MRI, new leisons may have developed since then, or I may have leisons in my spine. She hasn't ordered a spinal MRI yet. That may be an option if nothing has changed on the next brain MRI. She had also mentioned before that the inflammation could be aggravating my migraines and that some people have weakness/numbness on one half of their body with migraines. So there is always the possiblity that the problems I am currently having with my right side is more migraine related than MS related. This isn't something that we discussed today, so we'll just have to wait and see.
The only other thing is that I was looking into getting a cane to assist with my right leg issues. I discussed this with her and she advised against it right now, stating that my balance was still pretty good. If my leg gives out, I have a good shot at catching myself. On days when my leg is feeling weaker than others, I'll just have to reach out and hold onto something - which I do now, sometimes just touching the wall to steady myself or using a nearby object like furniture or a shelf at a store or something - but if it gets to the point where I really need a cane, she'll send me to physical therapy. At this point, if I fell with a cane, I could just get tangled up in it...which certainly wouldn't help things, right? ^_-
As far as activity goes, I can do whatever I feel like. If I'm feeling particularly tired, then I should take it easy. If I'm feeling like I want to get out and do stuff, then I should get out and do stuff. I don't have to prop my legs or anything like that. Right now I'm moving a bit slower than usual, but my energy levels are definately higher than they were a few months ago. My body will tell me what it needs.
So...we are still in a holding pattern, more or less. It looks like MS, but we can't call it that yet. I am still really thankful for everyone's thoughts and prayers. I am also very thankful for my doctor's one-day-at-a-time approach to all this, because everything just seems to get a little bit worse with each new bit of news. I mean, first came the initial possibility of MS, which led to some labwork. Those results led to the spinal tap and more bloodwork. And now I'm here...another MRI and shots for the rest of my life. I can't imagine hearing all that back in that very first appointment...it would have been so overwhelming. Taking it one step at a time, in small batches, has really helped both of us cope with what we're being told. As I said in a previous post, this has been life altering, but as my doctor pointed out, things will get better. These episodes can take months to get past, but they do pass. I will start to feel better; it is just going to take time. I'll do another offical status update after my MRI and appt on August 12. Until then, thanks again for everyone's support, thoughts, and prayers. They are greatly appreciated. Now...I want a cookie, so...I'm going to go get a cookie. ^_^
As for the long version...my follow-up exam showed improvement in my balance and reflexes. The steroids improved my headaches, vertigo, dizziness, and fatigue, and I could continue to see a benefit from them for up to a year. My big issue right now is the stuff with my arm and leg, not feeling quite "right" or like myself (I have been making stupid mistakes lately, been forgetful, had trouble focusing/concentrating/gathering my thoughts, and even got into two super minor accidents - I tapped another car with the work vehicle and scratched Tim's truck on the mailbox O_O), and occasional other symptoms. The doctor said that I may not feel like myself for another month or so.
She believes that I have MS or will develop MS. I do have demyelination, but doctors are not permitted to diagnosis MS based on an isolated occurence. They must have more proof--basically something needs to get better with treatment or something new will need to appear. The next MRI may help with this. She expects to see the big spot of inflammation decreased in size and will be looking for additional leisions.
The result of the next MRI will also determine the course of treatment. As I already said, I am starting a medication to help with my right side. That was at my request and is not a treatment for MS. It will hopefully just alleviate my discomfort and pain. The MS medication will depend on what she sees in the MRI results, but all of the medications are given in shot form. If the MRI shows no change, she will have to treat this as an isolated incident until something new happens and there is only one medication approved for that. It is a daily shot. If there are changes, then that opens up options of other shots (although which one will also depend on my insurance coverage) - one is a weekly intermuscular and the others vary from daily to every other day. She gave me a handbook to read that describes each medication and pamphlet about MS. Once I start the shots, I'm pretty much on them for life.
She said that the big spot of inflammation cannot explain all of my symptoms and that there's got to be something else going on that they haven't seen. There may be leisons in my brain that didn't show up on the first MRI, new leisons may have developed since then, or I may have leisons in my spine. She hasn't ordered a spinal MRI yet. That may be an option if nothing has changed on the next brain MRI. She had also mentioned before that the inflammation could be aggravating my migraines and that some people have weakness/numbness on one half of their body with migraines. So there is always the possiblity that the problems I am currently having with my right side is more migraine related than MS related. This isn't something that we discussed today, so we'll just have to wait and see.
The only other thing is that I was looking into getting a cane to assist with my right leg issues. I discussed this with her and she advised against it right now, stating that my balance was still pretty good. If my leg gives out, I have a good shot at catching myself. On days when my leg is feeling weaker than others, I'll just have to reach out and hold onto something - which I do now, sometimes just touching the wall to steady myself or using a nearby object like furniture or a shelf at a store or something - but if it gets to the point where I really need a cane, she'll send me to physical therapy. At this point, if I fell with a cane, I could just get tangled up in it...which certainly wouldn't help things, right? ^_-
As far as activity goes, I can do whatever I feel like. If I'm feeling particularly tired, then I should take it easy. If I'm feeling like I want to get out and do stuff, then I should get out and do stuff. I don't have to prop my legs or anything like that. Right now I'm moving a bit slower than usual, but my energy levels are definately higher than they were a few months ago. My body will tell me what it needs.
So...we are still in a holding pattern, more or less. It looks like MS, but we can't call it that yet. I am still really thankful for everyone's thoughts and prayers. I am also very thankful for my doctor's one-day-at-a-time approach to all this, because everything just seems to get a little bit worse with each new bit of news. I mean, first came the initial possibility of MS, which led to some labwork. Those results led to the spinal tap and more bloodwork. And now I'm here...another MRI and shots for the rest of my life. I can't imagine hearing all that back in that very first appointment...it would have been so overwhelming. Taking it one step at a time, in small batches, has really helped both of us cope with what we're being told. As I said in a previous post, this has been life altering, but as my doctor pointed out, things will get better. These episodes can take months to get past, but they do pass. I will start to feel better; it is just going to take time. I'll do another offical status update after my MRI and appt on August 12. Until then, thanks again for everyone's support, thoughts, and prayers. They are greatly appreciated. Now...I want a cookie, so...I'm going to go get a cookie. ^_^
Thursday, July 24, 2008
One day at a time
This isn't really an update per se, since I have nothing new to report. I'm just feeling the need to remind myself that "one day at a time" means just that and seeing this in physical form might help. I'm going to feel okay or even great on some days, but maybe not so well on others. I have to get used to that. I wondered briefly yesterday if I was allowed to feel sorry for myself--I mean everyone has problems and other people are much worse off than I am. But then I cut myself some slack...this is still new to me and it is life altering, so I think I am allowed to freak out every now and then. If I'm still freaking out in a year or so, after this has all become old news, maybe I'll start to worry. ^_-
My ecstatic high at feeling "normal" came to a pretty grinding stop yesterday, which was the last day of the oral steroids. Amid a plethora of migraine symptoms, my right leg bothered me all day. What started as an achy numbness in my upper thigh eventually spread to my knee and into my ankle. By the end of the workday, my ankle felt like it wanted to fold under my foot with each step. Shortly thereafter, my right leg disappeared on me in midstep...and yes, I fell. Luckily enough (or not, since I was in public), I was grocery shopping and had a hold of the cart to catch myself. At first, all I could do was laugh and then I wanted to cry.
What does this mean? Will I have to start more treatment? What happens if I fall when...this? What happens if...that? What about work? Should I have gone home to rest? Oh brother. Anyone who knows me knows that my brain asks endless questions trying to plan for every possible outcome. Unfortunately, I can't formulate those answers. I can't even ask all the questions. I have no choice but to take it one day at a time.
One bad day doesn't mean another will follow. One good day doesn't guarantee that the next will be even better. Perhaps this is a lesson I'll need to learn over and over again. Perhaps this is where my eternal optimism will bite me hard. But no matter how hard it bites me, there's no doubt in my mind that I'll ever give in completely to pessimism.
So, what is the point of all this rambling? Basically, that I need to remember that even though my life has changed, I don't know by how much. I can't really plan for the future any better than anyone else can. All I can do is take it, again, one day at a time, and keep hoping and praying for the best. I know God is watching over me. I know He is with me through this. I know that if (when) I fall, He'll be there to catch me (even in the form of a grocery cart -- maybe He's one of the Wonder Twins). And I know that when I freak out and fall to pieces, He's there to put me back together. He is here today and He'll be there tomorrow, even though I'm taking it one day at a time.
My ecstatic high at feeling "normal" came to a pretty grinding stop yesterday, which was the last day of the oral steroids. Amid a plethora of migraine symptoms, my right leg bothered me all day. What started as an achy numbness in my upper thigh eventually spread to my knee and into my ankle. By the end of the workday, my ankle felt like it wanted to fold under my foot with each step. Shortly thereafter, my right leg disappeared on me in midstep...and yes, I fell. Luckily enough (or not, since I was in public), I was grocery shopping and had a hold of the cart to catch myself. At first, all I could do was laugh and then I wanted to cry.
What does this mean? Will I have to start more treatment? What happens if I fall when...this? What happens if...that? What about work? Should I have gone home to rest? Oh brother. Anyone who knows me knows that my brain asks endless questions trying to plan for every possible outcome. Unfortunately, I can't formulate those answers. I can't even ask all the questions. I have no choice but to take it one day at a time.
One bad day doesn't mean another will follow. One good day doesn't guarantee that the next will be even better. Perhaps this is a lesson I'll need to learn over and over again. Perhaps this is where my eternal optimism will bite me hard. But no matter how hard it bites me, there's no doubt in my mind that I'll ever give in completely to pessimism.
So, what is the point of all this rambling? Basically, that I need to remember that even though my life has changed, I don't know by how much. I can't really plan for the future any better than anyone else can. All I can do is take it, again, one day at a time, and keep hoping and praying for the best. I know God is watching over me. I know He is with me through this. I know that if (when) I fall, He'll be there to catch me (even in the form of a grocery cart -- maybe He's one of the Wonder Twins). And I know that when I freak out and fall to pieces, He's there to put me back together. He is here today and He'll be there tomorrow, even though I'm taking it one day at a time.
Sunday, July 20, 2008
Photo meme
Nerdgirl has an interesting photo mosaic on her blog and I decided to play along. Here are my results:
1.Headstones-Katzie Nation Cemetery Maple Ridge BC, 2. Sjors inherited Meffi's love for Fried Chicken, 3. MSHS-2007 Auburn Marching Band Competition, 4. A Change of Seasons Part VII: The Crimson Sunset, 5. Vampire hunter d, 6. orange_juice, 7. Sakura_at_TOKYO_#2, 8. Fresh Cherry Pie, 9. the author looms above his page (365-195), 10. God, 11. Unique - Always, 12. Sakuya Konohana Kan (Tsurumi Ryokuchi Park)
And here is how you can play along at home (ripped from Nerdgirl's page ^_^)...
a. Type your answer to each of the questions below into Flickr Search.
b. Using only the first page, pick an image.
c. Copy and paste each of the URLs for the images into fd’s mosaic maker.
1.Headstones-Katzie Nation Cemetery Maple Ridge BC, 2. Sjors inherited Meffi's love for Fried Chicken, 3. MSHS-2007 Auburn Marching Band Competition, 4. A Change of Seasons Part VII: The Crimson Sunset, 5. Vampire hunter d, 6. orange_juice, 7. Sakura_at_TOKYO_#2, 8. Fresh Cherry Pie, 9. the author looms above his page (365-195), 10. God, 11. Unique - Always, 12. Sakuya Konohana Kan (Tsurumi Ryokuchi Park)
And here is how you can play along at home (ripped from Nerdgirl's page ^_^)...
a. Type your answer to each of the questions below into Flickr Search.
b. Using only the first page, pick an image.
c. Copy and paste each of the URLs for the images into fd’s mosaic maker.
1. What is your first name?
2. What is your favorite food?
3. What high school did you go to?
4. What is your favorite color?
5. Who is your celebrity crush?
6. Favorite drink?
7. Dream vacation?
8. Favorite dessert?
9. What do you want to be when you grow up?
10. What do you love most in life?
11. One word to describe you.
12. Your Flickr name.
Saturday, July 19, 2008
Nothing Much...
For the last few days, I've felt more normal than I have in months. Now, of course, my loving spouse was quick to pointout that I've never actually been normal...but that is neither here nor there.
What really matters is that the steroids seem to be having an effect. I feel better. And boy have I had a ton of energy the last few days. In fact, I might finish painting my house tomorrow.
I haven't slept much this week. Last night I was up at 3:30 and the night before that at 4:30. It doesn't help to wake up with a cat sitting on your head, either. So today I received an Rx for sleeping pills that I can use 2 - 3 times per week while I finish this course of treatment.
Nearly three hours ago, I toyed with taking one, only to ultimately decide that I was tired enough to sleep on my own. Well...now it's going on 1:30 a.m. There's always tomorrow night...except that it is cartoon night and I can't sleep through those. ^_^
Good night!
And PS - Although I discovered the albulm years ago, I recently stumbled upon Delirium's "Poem" among my MP3 collection (not SAM, but PAM Ms. NerdGirl) and have fallen in love with it all over again. Not sure where that fits in, but thought I'd share anyway. ^__^
Now I'm unhinging myself from my laptop and turning off the lights. Night!
What really matters is that the steroids seem to be having an effect. I feel better. And boy have I had a ton of energy the last few days. In fact, I might finish painting my house tomorrow.
I haven't slept much this week. Last night I was up at 3:30 and the night before that at 4:30. It doesn't help to wake up with a cat sitting on your head, either. So today I received an Rx for sleeping pills that I can use 2 - 3 times per week while I finish this course of treatment.
Nearly three hours ago, I toyed with taking one, only to ultimately decide that I was tired enough to sleep on my own. Well...now it's going on 1:30 a.m. There's always tomorrow night...except that it is cartoon night and I can't sleep through those. ^_^
Good night!
And PS - Although I discovered the albulm years ago, I recently stumbled upon Delirium's "Poem" among my MP3 collection (not SAM, but PAM Ms. NerdGirl) and have fallen in love with it all over again. Not sure where that fits in, but thought I'd share anyway. ^__^
Now I'm unhinging myself from my laptop and turning off the lights. Night!
Friday, July 11, 2008
Another Quick Thought
I was just thinking about my banner question: Do you really want to step inside my head?
Better really think about that one, cuz there's lots of stuff going on in there! ^_^ If anything good has come from all my MRIs and stuff over the last few years, it's that I know I have a brain and then some! (At least I have something up on the Wizard of Oz's Scarecrow. And btw, that movie gives me nightmares...and no, I can't explain why.)
That is all.
Better really think about that one, cuz there's lots of stuff going on in there! ^_^ If anything good has come from all my MRIs and stuff over the last few years, it's that I know I have a brain and then some! (At least I have something up on the Wizard of Oz's Scarecrow. And btw, that movie gives me nightmares...and no, I can't explain why.)
That is all.
Status Update
Today I am feeling pretty tired and worn out. I finished up my last IV steroid treatment yesterday and started the oral steroids this morning. I will continue on those at full dose for 11 days and then ween off for the two following days. The first IV treatment left me extremely energized and even after taking a sleeping pill, I was wide awake at 3:30 a.m. I've been more tired since then, because my sleeping pills were doubled in dose for the final two treatments (there were three in all). I am also taking an OTC medication to help protect my stomach since the steroids can cause ulcers and other problems. So far I am taking everything well.
I was able to learn a little more about the initial findings of my spinal tap. As you may know, the doctor found demyelination, which, according to http://www.msif.org/en/about_ms/demyelination.html, means:
"Demyelination is the term used for a loss of myelin, a substance in the white matter that insulates nerve endings. Myelin helps the nerves receive and interpret messages from the brain at maximum speed. When nerve endings lose this substance they can not function properly, leading to patches of scarring, or ‘sclerosis’, occurring where nerve endings have lost myelin. It is these areas of scarring that give multiple sclerosis its name.Demyelination is the root cause of the symptoms that people with MS experience. When it occurs the speed at which messages pass along the nerves is slower than normal. Even when the patches of scarring caused by demyelination have healed and re-myelination has occurred, the response time of the nerve endings tends to remain slower."
I am still awaiting the finished results of the spinal tap and blood tests, and will meet again with my doctor towards the end of the month. I don't know where we go from here, but I will probably have two more MRIs done in the next 6 months or so to check on the inflammation/leisons.
As far as current symptoms go, I am generally fatigued, have occasional leg weakness (I may fall down or need to catch myself for support), frequent headaches and migrains with aggravated neurological effects due to the inflammation in my brain, and an occasional tremor in my right hand and arm. I have many bouts of dizziness and vertigo, and sometimes am even more uncoordinated than usual, meaning clumsy accidents where I walk into walls and stuff. Yesterday I walked into a wall and messed up my glasses because I hit the bridge of my nose...so, while I am usually clumsy, even this is extraordinarily out of my normal spectrum.
I don't know for sure that my appetite issues are related at this point, but I have lost 35 pounds so far, and even though the doctor thought the steroids may boost my appetite, it's as still as non-existent as ever, which means that I am still losing weight.
I'd like to thank everyone for their thoughts and prayers. It has been an extreme boost to know that so many are keeping me uplifted.
I was able to learn a little more about the initial findings of my spinal tap. As you may know, the doctor found demyelination, which, according to http://www.msif.org/en/about_ms/demyelination.html, means:
"Demyelination is the term used for a loss of myelin, a substance in the white matter that insulates nerve endings. Myelin helps the nerves receive and interpret messages from the brain at maximum speed. When nerve endings lose this substance they can not function properly, leading to patches of scarring, or ‘sclerosis’, occurring where nerve endings have lost myelin. It is these areas of scarring that give multiple sclerosis its name.Demyelination is the root cause of the symptoms that people with MS experience. When it occurs the speed at which messages pass along the nerves is slower than normal. Even when the patches of scarring caused by demyelination have healed and re-myelination has occurred, the response time of the nerve endings tends to remain slower."
I am still awaiting the finished results of the spinal tap and blood tests, and will meet again with my doctor towards the end of the month. I don't know where we go from here, but I will probably have two more MRIs done in the next 6 months or so to check on the inflammation/leisons.
As far as current symptoms go, I am generally fatigued, have occasional leg weakness (I may fall down or need to catch myself for support), frequent headaches and migrains with aggravated neurological effects due to the inflammation in my brain, and an occasional tremor in my right hand and arm. I have many bouts of dizziness and vertigo, and sometimes am even more uncoordinated than usual, meaning clumsy accidents where I walk into walls and stuff. Yesterday I walked into a wall and messed up my glasses because I hit the bridge of my nose...so, while I am usually clumsy, even this is extraordinarily out of my normal spectrum.
I don't know for sure that my appetite issues are related at this point, but I have lost 35 pounds so far, and even though the doctor thought the steroids may boost my appetite, it's as still as non-existent as ever, which means that I am still losing weight.
I'd like to thank everyone for their thoughts and prayers. It has been an extreme boost to know that so many are keeping me uplifted.
Wednesday, May 21, 2008
How Normal are You?
You Are 55% Normal |
 While some of your behavior is quite normal... Other things you do are downright strange You've got a little of your freak going on But you mostly keep your weirdness to yourself |
Tuesday, May 20, 2008
Neko's rants
For post #2, my cat, Neko, is commandeering my keyboard. Therefore, while you get to listen to whatever goes on in her head, I'll sit back and relax to some Depeche Mode. Enjoy. ^_^
afkkjfndddd...Koneko-chan here! You know what I really want? (Aside from dinner, of course.) For Lucien to stop sticking his nose in my butt. I hate that! What a little twerp! Always there...right behind me, like he has nothing better to do. Gees. I don't see his nose up Lady Sakuya's butt, or Smokey's, or Twitch's. Then again, grumpy old Twitch would bop him silly if he did that to him. Maybe I should take a few lessons from him.
Oh well. Alas...yes, cats can say alas, we aren't completely uneducated you know. I am actually quite smart. My human says so. She's always saying she can see the gears in my head working...as if I'm some robot or something, but whatever!
We had some excitement the other night. There was a mouse in the bathtub! Can you believe it? I was so stunned I couldn't do anything but look at it. Now, if it had been in the kitchen, I would have been a super good girl and caught it, but the bath tub, now...well that is the taboo zone for us cats. We know what comes out of that metal thing in the wall and let me tell you: WE DON'T LIKE IT ONE BIT! So, nope, no mouse catchings for us. We'd rather sit at the end of the tub and just watch the dang thing 'til those humans come and get it. Oh yes, who are we? Well that was me and Sakuya and Lucien (who didn't have his nose in my butt for once).
Uh oh...I hear Lucien coming. I'm gonna go hide. This concludes part one of Neko's rants. Here's hoping you have a nice day, or evening as the case may be, without any unwanted noses in your butts.
And there you go. From the mind of my cat to yours. ^_^
afkkjfndddd...Koneko-chan here! You know what I really want? (Aside from dinner, of course.) For Lucien to stop sticking his nose in my butt. I hate that! What a little twerp! Always there...right behind me, like he has nothing better to do. Gees. I don't see his nose up Lady Sakuya's butt, or Smokey's, or Twitch's. Then again, grumpy old Twitch would bop him silly if he did that to him.
Oh well. Alas...yes, cats can say alas, we aren't completely uneducated you know. I am actually quite smart. My human says so. She's always saying she can see the gears in my head working...as if I'm some robot or something, but whatever!
We had some excitement the other night. There was a mouse in the bathtub! Can you believe it? I was so stunned I couldn't do anything but look at it. Now, if it had been in the kitchen, I would have been a super good girl and caught it, but the bath tub, now...well that is the taboo zone for us cats. We know what comes out of that metal thing in the wall and let me tell you: WE DON'T LIKE IT ONE BIT! So, nope, no mouse catchings for us. We'd rather sit at the end of the tub and just watch the dang thing 'til those humans come and get it. Oh yes, who are we? Well that was me and Sakuya and Lucien (who didn't have his nose in my butt for once).
Uh oh...I hear Lucien coming. I'm gonna go hide. This concludes part one of Neko's rants. Here's hoping you have a nice day, or evening as the case may be, without any unwanted noses in your butts.
And there you go. From the mind of my cat to yours. ^_^
Tuesday, April 15, 2008
What is the color of your mind?
Your Mind is Purple |
  Of all the mind types, yours is the most idealistic. You tend to think wild, amazing thoughts. Your dreams and fantasies are intense. Your thoughts are creative, inventive, and without boundaries. You tend to spend a lot of time thinking of fictional people and places - or a very different life for yourself. |
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