The Arrival Midwest Book Review, Dark History and Horror Convention, And MORE!

This is longer than I intended, so I'll provide bullet points:
*Midwest Book Review critiqued "The Arrival" - skip to the end to read its awesomeness
*My health sucks and it interferes with my life and writing goals (surgery is higher in the air than the Flying Graysons)
*I'll be at the Dark History, True Crime, and Horror Convention in November #DHHC2018
*In a TBA release, my short story "How to Make Lemonade" will appear in a vampire anthology by Dark Moon Press entitled "Tales of Blood and Shadows"
*I hope to have Confessions on Kindle by the end of the year
*I'm making progress on the 3rd "Children of the Morning Star" book, have a tentative release schedule, and new working title
*I may have some speaking engagements forthcoming at the library
*The Library of Congress is cataloging Confessions
*I am bad about using apostrophes, quotes, italics, and underlining consistently for titles (forgive me)
*I write long blogs
*The above picture is one of several potential covers for Confessions that I chose not to use
*Signed copies of both books are available locally at G-Mart in Downtown Champaign

OK- AND GO!

Shortly after Confessions of the Second Born went live, I sent copies of it and The Arrival to Midwest Book Review with hopes of not only being selected for review, but also of gaining (hopefully) positive industry critiques.  I will get to that...I mean, it is the best part of this post (so skip to the end if you want), but first, updates and such.

While waiting to hear from Midwest Book Review, I prepped for the local Dark History and Horror Convention in November (#DHHC2018), dealt with another batch of health issues that may or may not need surgery, tried to work on the 3rd book in the Children of the Morning Star series, and wrote and submitted a short story to Dark Moon Press for a vampire anthology.

Sound like a lot?  You have no idea.  I don't allow my health to define me, but I can't help how it affects me.  Sometimes my brain works and sometimes it's way off--like, not off in left field, but not even in the stadium.  Or the parking lot.  It's more like finding Waldo in a zoomed out satellite picture of Chicago.  Throw in new things and Waldo's buried.  Essentially, nothing about this is easy for a normal person on a good day, so it requires a lot of hard work, energy, and time from me (and I always mess something up and need to fix it - par for the course). 

Ooh!  TWO sports metaphors from the geek in ONE paragraph!  I'm getting better at this.

Ok, so, in many ways, writing and editing is cathartic, which I've written about in the past, and can be both a source of stress and a coping mechanism for stress.  If you've followed my blog, you already know the story: I wrote the first two books over a decade ago, it started as a dream when I was 13, and health interruptions thrust me into a rut of edits.  To any creative type, a project is rarely ever finished.  We continue to peck at endlessly until we set a 'done point' and stick to it.

At points where I really needed something good to happen, I called 'done' on both of them and set up a rough plan for the 3rd.  But the 3rd is tricky.  I started it shortly after the initial two.  It's a patchwork mess of disorganized scenes and notes.  At some point, I organized several patches into the first five chapters, with the rest making up a potential 4-7 additional chapters.  The 3rd already contains 188 extremely roughly written pages.  The working title is "Children of the Morning Star." (COMS)

Truth be told, once Confessions went live, I was a nervous wreck about finishing the series.  I hadn't creatively written anything seriously in 6 or 7 years.  Can I still do it?  Will my health and brain and everything else allow it?  I'm in constant pain and my hands and arms have started going numb.  Sometimes I can't even hold a book to read.  How do I expect to type a new book?

Enter Dark Moon Press's Tales of Blood and Shadows A Vampire Anthology.  For weeks, I wrote out ideas for a submission.  I started 3 stories and abandoned them.  Then I had a dream, a dream of a nightmare I'd had years ago that made me sick to my stomach.  So I wrote.  And a short story was born.  I submitted it and recently learned it will be used.  (Release TBA plus happy dance!)  It is titled How to Make Lemonade and tells the story of a suicidal woman who falls into the arms of a widowed vampire.  The question, however, is whether he sees her as something to save?  Or savor?

I liked it.  I liked it so much that I was far too nervous to submit it because I knew something had to be wrong with it.  I read it aloud to a few groups of people and asked a few friends to read it.  The groups were captivated to an uncomfortable level.  I've never felt such laser-pointed focus from others before.  But that's a good thing.  And the readers loved it.  I held onto it for a few weeks, still unsure, and then called it done.  My nerves were on fire.  Not only had I not written in years, but I tried an entirely new writing style.  Seems like a good gamble.  How to Make Lemonade is not your typical vampire story, but, if you've read either of my books, you already know that I don't write "typical" vampire stories.  Visit darkmoonpress.com to subscribe for updates and notifications, and, of course, like and follow me on Facebook.  (My current stress relief project is making cute mini-bookmarks to market this short story and anthology, and I'm toying with writing a novel based on the short.)

The positive feedback boosted my confidence.  I read the 188 pages I'd previously written for COMS.  EGAD!  The writing is terrible.  The story is fine.  The story and characters were more developed than I remembered.  I took time to think over the story elements and direction, jotted notes, and so forth, and finally began working on it.  I've only just finished cleaning up the first chapter, but I've already cut thousands of words from the first 20 pages.  It's put me into a hybrid writing/editing mode that works.  It's a bit bland, but the twisty prose and phrasing will come.  I can't get ahead of myself.  I've also developed a new working title, but that's a secret for now.

It's no secret that there is a lot going on in my life, always.  This is one, tiny facet, but it's a dream come true.  All my life, I wanted to be an author.  I wanted people to read my words.  I wanted my writing to make people think.  And it is!  Currently, Confessions is only out as a paperback.  A Kindle version is coming, and when it does, it will be free to download for the first several days.  I hope to have it ready by the end of the year.  I apologize to anyone who is waiting for it.  It is a project that requires more focus than I can give it right now to do it right, and I want to do it right.  My readers deserve that.

Additionally, my local library asked me about possible speaking engagements and possibly entering my books into circulation.  That is also very awesome!  It's hard for me to commit to anything (I mean, I've got help for the upcoming Con, but I am terrified of how I'm going to get through it, both physically and mentally given the challenges I face just getting through a day at home with my cats - lol), but I would love, LOVE to do this.  My therapist sees my books as a shining beacon in my treatment.  I love to talk about them, about the process, about the different meanings people take away - she says I light up.  I perk up.  I've spent so much time in their world that it's real to me.  And when I'm there, I don't hurt.  When I "come home," I pay for it dearly, but it's a price she thinks is worth it for the relief and happiness it provides.

And so, with everything going on, I'm closing in on my tentative time table for COMS.  3 months or so to write it.  3-6 to edit and polish.  Another 3 to start publication and proof, proof, proof.  Plus 3 months extra for delays with an estimated release by the end of 2019.  Health complications and stress loom over this time table, placing me in an unfortunate position of already being behind.  It's a self-imposed deadline that can obviously change, but I'm not going to drag this release out.  It's a different story now.  People want to know.  I have readers!  They want books to read!  I can't allow myself to fall into another ten year rut.  And trust me, that is not an option.  If I need to, I'll work with another author.  This story is my story, and it's been my story since I was a kid.  It deserves readers, and the readers deserve something compelling and good.

Alas!  That brings us to today!  Today I learned that the Library of Congress is cataloging Confessions, and I found "The Arrival" in the October issue of Midwest Book Review's Small Press Bookwatch!  And with an awesome critique!  Many, MANY thanks to the reviewer(s) at Midwest Book Review.  Thank you so much for accepting my submission and for enjoying it.  I am incredibly happy right now and that's something my aching body or Wheres's Waldo brain can't take from me.  It follows:

"The first volume in Kastie Pavlik's 'Children of the Morning Star' vampiric fantasy series, "The Arrival" reveals an author with a genuine flair for originality and character driven narrative storytelling. A deftly crafted and unfailingly compelling read from beginning to end, "The Arrival" is unreservedly recommended and certain to be an immediate and enduringly popular addition to community library Fantasy Fiction collections. It should be noted for the personal reading lists of dedicated vampire fiction fans that "The Arrival" is also available in a digital book format (Kindle, $1.99)."  - Midwest Book Review

Much love to everyone who is on this journey with me.  It's a Hell of a ride.  I hope you're enjoying it.

(And don't forget that copies of both books are available locally at G-Mart!  If you purchase a signed copy, message my author page and I'll arrange to customize the autograph and give you extra goodies!)

Random Stuff - What I'm Up To

That moment when you want to write something, but sit down and can't think?  That's what this is.  (laughs)  I feel like I have a zillion and a half (the half is important) thoughts zooming through my mind.  If I catch one, I'll jot it down and maybe this post will be somewhat cohesive.  Fingers crossed.

A few months ago, chest pain took me to the ER twice in two weeks.  Abnormal EKGs and another doctor's concern had me held overnight the second time.  Since then, I've worn, and returned, a month-long heart event monitor and am awaiting the results.  At the moment, the issue remains unexplained.  Neurology and Cardiology are working together to figure out the cause:  my brain or my heart.  (Giggity)

Probably unsurprisingly so, I haven't felt that great lately.  I'm experiencing more issues with my arms, which, of course, causes issues with my hands and fingers.  Like last summer, I'm hitting extremely hard fatigue walls that knock me out for a few hours.  And I'm feeling a greater disconnect between myself and my brain.  I swear, I talk about my brain like we share a symbiotic relationship, and that's weird, I know, but it truly feels like it. 

This morning I was talking to my cats about finding Cardcaptor Sakura Clear Card on Hulu last night, (there was a huge WHOO-HOO moment when I found the books on Rightstuf).  I couldn't get the words right.  I kept saying, "Cloudclaptor..."  I got frustrated and shut up.  (I think the cats were grateful.)  But this word slippage and other vocal issues have been getting worse.  I mumble now and don't realize it, I put the wrong consonants into words (like Funny instead of Money), and I randomly pick up an Irish or other foreign accent.  It's still at that super weird stage that makes us laugh when it happens. 

Speaking of Cardcaptor Sakura Clear Card, I love it!  Sakura is one of the cutest and sweetest anime/manga characters, and the anime itself is always uplifting with positive interaction between Sakura and her friends.  Thankfully, there is no English dub to waste your time with (unlike the original season-don't, just don't).  I'm so used to watching the Sub that it'd be odd to hear other voices.  Since I am reading the manga, and am current, I'll eventually get to a point where I need to stop watching so I don't ruin the reading experience.  So far, it seems that several episodes fit into a book. 

I've also been reading the Sherlock manga that essentially takes the BBC show and puts it to paper.  It's pretty cool.  The lack of color pages does limit what the reader can deduce, which is my only complaint.  It's obvious from the first book:  A Study in Pink.  I missed quite a bit of the pink stuff since it's all in black or white.  Otherwise, it's cool to enjoy Sherlock in different mediums.  Like with Cardcaptor, I read the books first and then watch the show.  I realize this reveals that I'm a late comer to the BBC show, but oh well.  With only 3-4 episodes per season, I like the forced pacing.  I also enjoy Elementary and the Robert Downey Jr movies.  I have the Moriarty novel in my towering "to read" pile, and the collected works of Sir Arthur Conan Doyle.  The game is a foot!

My newest obsession is watching (and listening to) the ISS live feed here:  http://www.n2yo.com/space-station/.  The first few days I watched, it was silent, so it scared the beejees out of me when I was in another part of the house and heard a man talking in the supposedly empty loft.  I hadn't noticed the other live feeds on the page and got to watch one of the astronauts (Alex) working in the air lock.  It's fascinating!  And watching the sun set from the ISS roughly every 20 minutes is otherworldly.

I picked up a book called "Civil War Front Pages" by John Wagman.  It is absorbing.  It's difficult to read since much of the news print is small.  I happened to flip to the day the war ended and was amazed by the headlines, huge and bolded, with giant eagles of victory.  I wonder what it was like for people to see that on their newspaper in 1865 after years of a nation torn apart.  The grandeur of the headlines spoke volumes.

I'm a bit behind on my comics, but I'm enjoying the Doomsday Clock comic and the Justice League Dark tradebacks - I'm almost done with them.  I can't believe Doomsday Clock won't finish its run until next summer!  AND!  I am so, SO thankful that Netflix picked up Lucifer for season 4!  A tv without Tom Ellis on it would be a sad tv.  The saddest tv if ever there was.  Now it can be happy.  ^_^  I'm into the fourth volume of the Lucifer run by Mike Carey (he was created by Neil Gaiman in his Sandman series).  It is vastly different from the show, but that's a good thing, I think.  Because they are so different, spotting Easter Eggs on the show is extra cool.  I'm also still working my way through the Hellblazer tradebacks from the original run.  I grew up in the 80s, so seeing it portrayed in comic form as an adult is eye-opening.  With few differences, you'd think it was modern day - racism, fear of war, violence, etc.  Aside from the supernatural aspects of the story, it's very real and sometimes that makes it hard to read.  Not hard in a literal sense - it's like watching the news these days.  You need a break from it.  Hence - moving slowly. 

I think we're going to watch a movie soon, so I need to post this and "run."  (I don't run; I hobble.)  BUT - we watched Annihilation the other night and it's amazing.  Gorgeous shots with a story that doesn't ram itself down your throat.  Anyone who's played The Last of Us - watch this.  So many of the mutations in the shimmer are reminiscent of scenes in The Last of Us and even from The Evil Within 2.  I would love for a game developer to base a game on this movie/book series.  It has potential for some really cool things. 

Ok, well, I smell popcorn.  Confessions is still in the works - I've just taken a small break while other folks are critiquing.  I think we'll be on track for a July release.  ^_^

PS - there's a promo video for Confessions on my Amazon author page.  Watch it!  amazon.com/author/kastiepavlik 

Book Status Update - Boring Blog Title

It appears that I’m neglecting my blog again.  Shame, shame!

A lot has been happening.  I’ll release info in bits as I get stuff nailed down (or staked down, if you will – bad joke, I know). 

For now, I’ve pulled THE ARRIVAL from sale to reformat the interior to match CONFESSIONS OF THE SECOND BORN.  It cut the page count by almost 100 pages, which also brings the price point down!  So, win-win for the readers! 

When THE ARRIVAL goes live again, it will be across various distribution channels and no longer an Amazon exclusive.  I may, periodically, return it to being an Amazon exclusive because that allows me to drop the price considerably and is really the only control I have over putting the title “on sale.” 

Meanwhile, the Kindle version remains live.  I will update it, eventually, but only to add a cleaner family tree and fix a few formatting issues.  Nothing too big.  It will continue to be a free download with purchase of the paperback.

I’m awaiting a physical proof of THE ARRIVAL to approve.  Once that’s done, it’ll go live within a week. 

I’ve been busy putting together sketches and information for the Notations section of CONFESSIONS.  I’ve heard this book is very intense and I don’t give the reader a break.  So prepare thyself for an emotional whirlwind. (evil laugh)

I love how THE ARRIVAL sets the stage for the overall story.  CONFESSIONS OF THE SECOND BORN takes that setting and runs with it (like Juggernaut and The Flash had a baby – which would probably be an ugly baby, no offense to the Flash).  It’s not fair to THE ARRIVAL, but I love CONFESSIONS so much more.  I don’t know if it’s supposed to be like picking a favorite child, which we all know is a thing, but it’s easy for me. 

If you haven’t been by the FB author page in a while, I’ve posted a picture from my day playing with the Civil War Cavalry, along with little things here and there.  And, if you’ve read THE ARRIVAL, join the discussion group!  They’ve been treated to early peeks at character sketches, marketing materials, and info teases. 

That’s all I’ve got for now.  Stay tuned.  But don’t hold your breath.  I do tend to neglect this blog.  ^_-

Something, Something, Butterflies, Batman, and MS

Sometimes things in life add up perfectly, such as a butterfly posing patiently for its photograph.  In a heart-shaped spot of light in a dark forest on a sweltering day.  Often, that's not how it works, though.  And even greater still, even those "perfect" moments benefit from additional attention. 

Most of us touch up our photos now, just as I changed the contrast and brightness to highlight the butterfly's spotlight.  The heart is natural, though--capturing that photo was a stroke of luck.  It seemed like an appropriate picture to share on Earth Day.

I don't really have a specific topic for today.  My mind has been jumbled lately, my memory worse than usual.  I lose thoughts quicker than they form.  It makes writing/editing difficult, but I'm doing my best and that's all I can do. 

I used to review anime and manga on this blog, periodically.  If I were to start from where I left off this would probably be the longest post ever--which would be quite the achievement given how I tend to ramble.  But, it is something I've been wanting to do.

I started reading manga years ago.  Exactly when escapes me, but I think I started with a 3-book box set for Cowboy Bebop.  This was before publishers printed the books in the correct Japanese back-to-front, right-to-left format.  Once that became the standard, my obsession took off.  What started with 3 books has grown into a large collection with hundreds of books - I mean, Bleach, alone, is over 70 volumes.

Like everything else in my life, my tastes are eclectic.  You might think I'm a shojo girl at first glance, but upon closer inspection, you'd see that I lean toward supernatural and sci-fi.  Vampires, ghosts, demons, time travel, mythology.  It's so hard to pick an all time favorite.  It's not manga, but Vampire Hunter D ranks high.  Trigun has to be next, followed by Black Bird and Cardcaptor Sakura.  I have too many current titles to rattle off, so the ones I look forward to the most are:  Attack on Titan, Cardcaptor Sakura Clear Card (OMG I love CLAMP), Karneval, Noragami, and The Demon Prince of Momochi House (the nue is hot!). 

And then, of course, I got back into novels.  And now my novel collection has grown.  I adore Sarah Addison Allen's books.  The way she weaves her magical realism is incredible.  Freda Warrington's The Blood Wine Sequence series is amazing, and I love Gillian Flynn - just when you think the story should be wrapping up, she takes you beyond the end into places you'd never expect. 

So, for the record, at this point, I'm reading manga, novels translated from Japanese, and "normal" novels. 

Aaaaand then . . . my superhero fetish kicked into high gear and I started reading tradebacks and graphic novels.  And now have a substantial collection of those, as well.  I love Marvel and DC, but when it comes to reading, I'm nearly DC all the way.  Deadpool's in there, mixing it up, but I have loved Batman since I was kid, and I adore The Flash.  My "comic" collection consists largely of Batman and Flash titles & collections, along with Hellblazer, Lucifer, and Rick and Morty (not DC).  With DC's Rebirth event, I've also picked up Nightwing and Wonder Woman, and with the New 52, I got into Justice League Dark. 

Think that's enough?  Cuz I didn't.  Now I'm into actual comics.  Specifically Deadman and The Doomsday Clock.  I'd never read (or seen) Watchmen, so after reading the first few Doomsday Clock issues, I grabbed the Watchmen omnibus.  And now I need to go back and re-read the Doomsday Clock issues I have to understand the backstory.  I've started getting back issues of Batman and other titles.  LOL - I have a problem and not enough shelf space!   I should have posted a picture of my library instead of the butterfly, which is sad since I started this with the beauty of the Earth on Earth Day and now I'm posting about all the paper I own.

Believe it not, I do actually have a point!  I've been amazed that given the memory and cognition issues I face on a daily basis, I can follow as many story lines as I do.  Let me pause and do counting -- 35 current manga series, 12 comic series, and whatever novel I'm reading.  For some of these titles, the next book doesn't come out for years.  Take Loveless, for example.  I thought it was on a 2 year release schedule, so I thought the next book would have been out around October of 2015.  Nope.  It'll be out this summer.  So I've been waiting for it since probably 2013.  Others come out faster - maybe every few months, and others are at about a year.  For a book I'll read in under an hour. 

My point?  All of these stories have histories that are built by the book's creator.  Many of those comics have histories that have existed since the 1930s with retcons and additions and changes, and so forth.  It's all stuff that exercises my brain.  Frequently, I enjoy learning about the real histories behind the character as much I love reading the fiction.  Captain America's actual creation story is amazing.  Get me started on nearly any character?  I won't shut up.  I don't read much Superman, but I can tell you that the Superman we know and love today is from Earth Two, and that Supergirl is faster than Superman, who is thought to be the only man who can keep up, or possibly even beat, The Flash.  I'd love to see Supergirl and The Flash race. 

See?  I won't stop.  It engages my brain, and for that moment, or those few hours that I'm rambling on and on, I actually know what I'm talking about and feel confident about it.  So much of my day is spent trying to remember what I was going to say or do, or trying to remember my cat's name or remember who someone is in a photograph. 

I work hard on my cognition issues and reading is really the best thing for it.  I wish I had something equally as fun to help with my physical issues.  But there's not much I can do about that.  Use or lose it is what I know and that keeps me from laying in bed all day.  I force myself to get up and do at least one thing a day.  I miss the days when I could walk in a forest and take pictures of butterflies.

Look at that!  Sometimes things just come together!  ^_^ 

I came here today because I'm working on another round of edits for The Arrival's sequel and I haven't been able to focus on it.  People who know me know I have problems with my legs.  But I have problems with my arms, too, and they're getting worse to the point that holding a book or turning the pages is hard.  My arms go to sleep, they go numb, they are heavy and slow to respond.  It wasn't such a big deal when it was just my left arm, but now it's my right arm, too.  This blog has always helped me see things in a different light or helped me feel better.  As usual, talking about comics did the trick. 

I guess if this post has any point, it's to reiterate that old saying that if something's worth doing, it's going to take work.  I want to slow the damage to my brain and body, so I work at it.  I push myself extremely hard.  Past physical therapists have told me I push too hard and I should cut back to 1/4 of what I'm doing.  So, I've worked on that.  Doing too much can do more harm than good.  Which is why I like to read.  I don't think it's possible to read too much.  Except that I could overstimulate my brain and that's not good at bedtime. 

Another thing?  Enjoy what you have because you never know when you'll lose it.  Stop and take those pictures of butterflies.  Take a deep breath in a flower garden.  Appreciate those little things that line up perfectly.  If you can, work to make it even better, to make it shine.  A spotlight moment can be yours, but you have to be willing to see it and accept it. 

For example, I know The Arrival has a good story and that I'm a good writer.  But I'm just me.  It's hard for me to think like that.  And that's another thing I'm working on.  I know the sequel has a good story and the writing is good as it is.  But it needs to be polished and that's what I'm struggling with now.  My mom is helping me and it's incredible.  I don't think I'd get this done without her help.  And I'm eager to finish edits and polishing so that my *secret* beta reader can get her hands on it and give me much needed feedback.  Writing a book, polishing it, and then publishing it is like watching a caterpillar turn into a butterfly and fly away.  It's not easy.  It takes work.  For me, it takes a lot more effort than it did five or ten years ago.  Even just a year ago.  But I'll keep working on it.  I'll keep working on everything.  I owe it to myself and to my readers. 

I have no idea how long this post became and I haven't proofed it, so please forgive any typos - I tried to catch them as I went.  Hopefully, this all tied together, somehow, and was at least enjoyable to read.  Until next time!  Bye!  ^_-